It has been almost two months since the murder of George Floyd. Though I have shared several posts and articles, I have not addressed the issue of racial injustice in my own words. But as someone who works really hard to understand different cultures and someone who believes that we are all created in the image of our Creator, I must address this issue.
It was around the midpoint of June when I finally saw the video. I am ashamed to write that. But it is true. And as I sat in my car watching this man’s life be taken away from him, I cried.
Empathy is the ability to understand and know someone else’s feelings.
I became a Christian when I was 15 years old. I’m aware that is a young age to become a Christian, but it was still old enough for me to distinctly remember my life before making that decision.
I remember how I felt about Christianity. And it was not good.
From my perspective, Christianity was a religion of hate and judgment. And that view helped shape me as a young person. Since I grew up in the Bible Belt, I rebelled against any idea of Christianity.
So what changed my view of this faith I now call my own?
I met someone who was a Christian that did not fill my expectations of what a Christian looked like.
And I eventually became a Christian.
I grew up with a diverse group of friends and I never knew what they went through as minorities.
I would say that I did not see color. I am sure high school me would say “All Lives Matter” when faced with someone saying “Black Lives Matter.”
I studied journalism during my first couple of years in college and worked for our school newspaper. I remember covering an event celebrating Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It was at this event that I first had a black person challenge my views of race in our country.
I did not react well.
I spoke about my upbringing and how rough it was. I did not listen. But she planted a seed in my mind.
A couple of years later, I got into a heated argument with a black coworker about her black experience in my area.
I used data and stats to back up my arguments against her, but I did not listen to her. I did not hear the pain in her voice.
It was a couple of years later at a youth event that God really changed the way I viewed the issues of race and racial injustice in our country.
We were at a water park and I was hanging out with a couple of our black students. As we were walking around the park, I noticed that a large amount of people were giving us dirty looks. As a white person, I cannot explain the feeling I had in that moment. I have come to know that the feeling I had in that moment is the feeling many of our brothers and sisters live with on a daily basis. I realized that the feeling I had in that moment would not be there a few hour laters when I was walking around Walmart by myself.
For a moment.
For a lifetime.
I love research and I love backing up my arguments with objective data, but there is no data for measuring that moment for me versus the lifetime of others. There is no data for the freedom I feel going for a run through my town. There is no data for the lack of judgment I feel walking around a water park. There is no data for the lack of fear I have when I am pulled over.
I messaged my former coworker and apologized for not listening.
I messaged my best friend from high school and apologized for not seeing the difference between my life and hers.
I see color and the beauty God has given each unique culture. I believe that all lives matter, which cannot be true until black lives matter.
We cannot allow our insecurities or fear to keep us from making the changes we need in our country. It is ok to be uncomfortable. It is ok, for a moment, to feel the way our brothers and sisters feel their entire lives.
Empathy is a powerful thing.
If you hold a particular view, find someone who holds a different view than you. Find someone who has experienced life differently than you.
I cannot pretend to know what it is like to be a minority in our country. The truth is that I am a white male and my world is shaped by that. But I can work really hard to understand. I can have conversations with people from different cultures. I can do research on black history.
Most importantly, I can be quiet…
And listen.
James Dubuisson 